you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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