i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Pants are for mortals
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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