what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
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My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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