and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
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My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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