Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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