Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just want to make out with him forever
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize