Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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