using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize