i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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