Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
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I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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