dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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