if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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