Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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