I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize