Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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