wrigley field is MILF paradise
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize