It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize