Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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