She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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