Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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