so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
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Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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