My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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