I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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