Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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