i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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