He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize