so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
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THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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