I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Randomize