I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize