member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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