I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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