i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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