What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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