That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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