Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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