that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
how drunk are you?
Several
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize