Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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