Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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