I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
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