yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize