i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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