Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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