Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.

(1-518): View more from New York

True? Did she teach you things?

(518): View more from New York

She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.

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(518): True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night. (1-518): True? Did she teach you things? (518): She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am. http://tfl.nu/r18t

Replies (13) Good night (2713) Bad night (623)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.

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(603): Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/y50b

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(856): View more from New Jersey

He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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(856): He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college. http://tfl.nu/khqs

Replies (6) Good night (881) Bad night (5728) Order T-Shirt
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(936): View more from Texas

She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.

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(936): She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while. http://tfl.nu/5c77

Replies (33) Good night (1121) Bad night (8472) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.

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(404): Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge. http://tfl.nu/3ppt

Replies (5) Good night (4529) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?

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(503): So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it? http://tfl.nu/4plu

Replies (14) Good night (3646) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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(740): View more from Ohio

Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.

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(740): Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward. http://tfl.nu/xwna

Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (1643)
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(727): View more from Florida

Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.

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(727): Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time. http://tfl.nu/hhge

Replies (9) Good night (896) Bad night (1826) Order T-Shirt
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(305): View more from Florida

Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.

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(305): Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin. http://tfl.nu/eiwf

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.

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(703): The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party. http://tfl.nu/q2r5

Replies (4) Good night (3719) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.

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(519): Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene. http://tfl.nu/c9bu

Replies (5) Good night (1140) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats

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(519): I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats http://tfl.nu/z216

Replies (13) Good night (1215) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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(909): View more from California

Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.

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(909): Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn. http://tfl.nu/8ily

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(937): View more from Ohio

Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life

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(937): Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life http://tfl.nu/0ubb

Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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(913): View more from Kansas

I want to be your penis for a week.

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(913): I want to be your penis for a week. http://tfl.nu/ha1f

Replies (10) Good night (506) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt

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