when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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