we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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