Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize