This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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