I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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