Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize