a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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