Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...

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  (619): That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop... http://tfl.nu/9vfi
  Replies (3) Good night (2420) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.

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  (951): Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list. http://tfl.nu/idtu
  Replies (24) Good night (4121) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.

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  (410): He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/qo51
  Replies (16) Good night (1084) Bad night (4849) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

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  (313): So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale. http://tfl.nu/y4yj
  Replies (48) Good night (20702) Bad night (867)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.

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  (913): You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were. http://tfl.nu/duqk
  Replies (1) Good night (2729) Bad night (1315) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.

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  (248): I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/ttak
  Replies (9) Good night (2683) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.

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  (979): Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/s5ox
  Replies (14) Good night (2146) Bad night (579)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.

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  (302): She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment. http://tfl.nu/lapr
  Replies (17) Good night (476) Bad night (3023) Order T-Shirt
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.

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  (848): Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work. http://tfl.nu/02os
  Replies (9) Good night (2243) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again

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  (905): I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again http://tfl.nu/ut4u
  Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body

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  (614): The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body http://tfl.nu/f4bm
  Replies (10) Good night (1447) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.

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  (512): Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely. http://tfl.nu/gnvv
  Replies (4) Good night (902) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!

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  (505): She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before! http://tfl.nu/qmyv
  Replies (10) Good night (1922) Bad night (231)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.

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  (312): My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him. http://tfl.nu/tfrh
  Replies (7) Good night (819) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.

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  (503): I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him. http://tfl.nu/nxot
  Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (99) Order T-Shirt

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