You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize